Making Others Comfortable

At the wedding dinner, PB has displayed a most abject lack of good behaviour, by harassing, pouting and generally behaving sulkily, and complaining about the seating arrangements.

Our dear G, who must have one of the thinnest skin that mankind ever has and easily mortified, was aghast at PB's boorishness. Flushing mightily like a red poppy, G was utterly embarrassed, thoroughly flabbergasted and infinitely distraught at the fact that the rest of the guests at the table could jolly well hear PB's rude remarks.

While trolling the internet on my favorite advice columnist, I chanced upon an entry that says etiqutte is making people comfortable. This, however, does not preclude the fact that you have to overreach yourself in doing so. Some historical examples, wry though amusing, are reproduced below for your reading benefit:-

"At a great London banquet, dear Queen Victoria lifted her finger bowl and drank the water. She had to. Her guest of honor, the Shah of Persia, had done it first.

At a Washington embassy dinner party, the king of Morocco plunged his fingers into his teacup and wiped them on his napkin. He had to. His guest of honor, President Kennedy, had done it first.

Then there was the time that Mrs. Grover Cleveland attempted to engage a tongue-tied guest in conversation by seizing on the nearest thing at hand, an antique cup of thinnest china. “We’re very pleased to have these; they’re quite rare and we’re using them for the first time today,” she is supposed to have said. “Really?” asked the distraught guest, picking up his cup and nervously crushing it in his hand. “Oh, don’t worry about it,” said the hostess. “They’re terribly fragile—see?” She smashed hers.

Mr. Grover Cleveland, on another social occasion, carefully added sugar and cream to his coffee, stirred it and poured some into his saucer. Observing this, all his guests felt obliged to do the same. There they all were, pouring their coffee into their saucers, when the President leaned down and put his saucerful on the floor for his dog."